“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32
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Former Olympic and professional figure skater Scott Hamilton recently posted on social media about an interesting encounter he’d had with a not-so-nice person. (And by the way, if you don’t follow Scott or have read any of his books, you really should check them out!) He was traveling with a couple friends and had just purchased a coffee and a roll to get the day started. They were waiting on their van ride to take them to the airport. When the van pulled up and they all started to get in, the driver ordered them in an unkind tone not to bring any food or drink into the van, and to throw their coffee and food away. Of course, this didn’t sit well with anyone, but Scott just quietly did as the driver asked and kept calm.
One of his friends asked him why he was staying so emotionally steady when the driver was being anything but nice, and Scott replied, “Because angry people make people angry and if I get angry, then I become him. I don’t want to be him.” While finally on the way to the airport, Scott struck up a conversation with the driver who, as Scott later said, actually turned out to be a decent human. He’d just had an issue with someone earlier that morning spilling their coffee and he didn’t want to clean up one more mess in his van.
Scott’s point was that when people get angry, there’s probably more to the story than what they’re letting on. Everyone is often fighting battles behind the scenes that we don’t understand or know about, and kindness will go a long way in showing love and dignity to others, even when they are not being nice to anyone. If we react with anger toward their anger, then nobody actually gets anywhere in solving anything and we only grow more apart and divided.
This is why Jesus said in Luke 6:35 that we are to love our enemies as children of God because “he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” Jesus died for those who don’t deserve mercy and kindness, which is really all of us. Therefore, if we are kind to others when they don’t deserve it, we exemplify the character of our Father.
Now, I don’t think Biblical kindness means that we are passive or that we don’t speak to injustices or that we don’t set healthy boundaries when people cross the line, but it does mean that we don’t respond to their behavior in a way that we become like them instead of like Jesus. Proverbs 11:17 says, “Those who are kind benefit themselves, but the cruel bring ruin on themselves.” It’s not only good for others that you be kind, it’s also good for your own health and wellbeing!
In the moment it’s not always easy to remember that we’re all speaking in some way from a hidden story (our emotions don’t just come out of the blue). But the more we can approach others with an attitude of understanding and grace, the more we can demonstrate God’s everlasting love in a way that will bring them closer to Him and to us.
— Katherine Singer
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